Friday, May 31, 2013


Love Poem

I hate all these new movies

I hate the sameness of the new theaters

I hate the cold seats in the poor old theaters

I hate seeing the young kids waiting in line for the film I just hated

I hate the parents that let these kids see films that hate

I hate you, I know I do

I hate the big parking lots

I hate the ticket stubs that mean nothing afterwards

I hate having to talk about these films

I hate not being able to talk about these films

I hate that paradox

I hate films that have great opening credits and nothing more, nothing more

I hate going into a film and coming out seeing that it snowed on the earth while I was away

I hate the fact movies no longer tell stories

I hate that everyone but me wants to be a movie star

I hate the idea that I am a movie star and you just don’t know it

I hate the people that don’t watch closing credits

I hate the punk who comes in too early to clean the aisles

I hate everyone who comes too late

I hate anyone who is in my seat — 8 rows up, center

I hate anyone who is in my other seat — backrow, center

I hate anyone in any of my other seats

I hate tubs of popcorn; think of it, tubs!

I hate balcony seats that are closed

I hate lit EXIT signs and miss old wall clocks

I hate smug couples

I hate fat farts

I hate parents who won’t let their kids run

I hate people who stand up behind me

I hate the guy who snuck up and criticized us for a film we took our son to then ran away

I hate cowards

I hate I didn’t get a good look at him

I hate the fact it happened while I watched the closing credits


Bob Arnold
from something forthcoming

 The audience with the film "Gaslight",  Grauman's Chinese Theatre