Wednesday, March 9, 2016

MY CHEAP LIFESTYLE ~




 circa 1980s




My Cheap Lifestyle




After a bourbon

I came in turned on the tube

Lit a joint and watched Monterey Pop

Nearly wept when Janis came on

Janis's legs kicking on stage was a memorable sight

Janis does her sweet little Texas girl smile as

her act finishes.  She kicks her heels

And Otis Redding is so sexy.

Millions of young Americans experience religion for the first time

In their lives

Or so the cameras would inform us

I'm concerned about manipulations in this media

How one gains such wonderful power

But of course I'm too tired

Thrilled by the process of bringing down a familiar blanket

Upon my bed

It's nearly fall

Nearly winter

I expect the stars will be bright

The woods full of bears.






S h h h




I don't think

I can afford the time to not sit right down &

write a poem about the heavy lidded

white rose I hold in my hand

I think of snow

a winter night in Boston, drunken waitress

stumble on a bus that careens through

Somerville the end of the line

where I was born, an old man

shaking me. He would've been my dad.

You need a ride? Wait, he said.

This flower is so heavy in my hand.

He drove me home in his old blue

Dodge, a thermos next to me,

cigarette packs on the dash

so quiet like Boston is quiet

Boston in the snow. It's New York

plates are clattering on St. Mark's

Place. Should I call you?

Can I go home now

& work with this undelivered

message in my fingertips

It's summer

I love you.

I'm surrounded by snow. 




Harmonica


Don't want to put my glasses on
Cause I don't want to see

Don't want to move again
Because I don't want to
Live

Don't want to love again
Because I don't want
To lose

Don't want to eat again
Because I don't want
To be full

Don't want to drink
Again because I don't
Want to feel quenched

Don't want to sleep again
Because I don't want to
Wake up

Don't want to live in the summer
Again because I don't want
To be hot

Don't want you to kiss me again
Because I don't want to be alive

Don't want to see you again
Because I don't want to vanish

Don't want to ride my bike
Because I don't want to
Get there

Don't want to know my family
Anymore because I don't want
To remember me

Don't want to walk my dog
Because I don't want to be out

Don't want to stay in anymore
Because I don't want to be
Alone

Don't want to be tired anymore
Because I don't want to feel old

Don't want to eat candy anymore
Because I don't want to feel sweet

Don't want to talk to my friends anymore
Because I don't want them to know me

Don't want to sing anymore
Because I don't want to hear me.

Don't want to die anymore
Because I don't want to see god.

Don't want to live anymore
Because I don't want to repeat

 E I L E E N     M Y L E S


_______________________

I Must Be Living Twice
new and selected poems
Ecco Press 2015 




 

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